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How we do the small things is how we do all things

Updated: Sep 27

I chose this lovely photo sequence because it showcases the kind of mindful, tactful, considerate way we can choose to be with our horses. A simple daily task such as bridling is done in a way that feels good to both the horse and the human. For some, it may be difficult to see or understand the interconnectedness of it all. Some may not realize that the way their horse drags on a lead rope is exactly how they lean on a rein. They may not realize that the way they’ve taught their horse to ignore their presence is why they’ve been stepped on and now have broken toes. I suppose that this behaviour can seem normal because so many (maybe most) horses have been taught that it’s okay to swat, push, drag, lean into, and rub on a human. To me, it is not. From what I can tell, this casual apathy with which a horse may regard the human is a protective brace in response to their own experiences being handled with mindless, inconsistent, inconsideration from the human. There are many undesirable behaviours from each species that have been normalized or explained away, but there doesn’t have to be.



I was at a new-to-me barn working with a new-to-me horse and human pair. It was a hot and muggy day and I recall thinking how well the horse was feeling considering the temperature. As I mapped their body and arranged myself to turn and walk behind them, I was suddenly whipped in the face by their tail while it was en route to swish away a fly that had landed on their back. Shocked, I stepped back and took a moment to gather myself. Despite being a common occurrence with horses whom I don’t regularly handle, every time I’m swatted with a tail it takes me aback- horses I do interact with regularly simply do not demonstrate this kind of disregard for my body. Sure, I’ll be intentionally swatted by a tail when doing something that the horse finds difficult, uncomfortable or painful but this is different- this horse wanted to rid itself of the fly and just didn’t care that I was in the way.


I love using this example of the tail swishing a fly because while I have “trained away” other behaviours, I have no idea how to train a horse to not hit me with their tail “by accident”. It’s the kind of behaviour that either never comes up or disappears swiftly enough once I take the time to teach the horse how I like my body to be treated while simultaneously demonstrating that I am listening to them and am mindful of how they wish their body to be treated. This respect for personal space is a mutual understanding, an unspoken contract if you will- I will not disregard or bulldoze you and you will not disregard or bulldoze me.


I have met folks who are so preoccupied with the idea of their horse liking them that their interaction is limited to hugs and cookies and massages and the horse is never asked to respect boundaries for fear of damaging the potential for partnership. I have also met folks who are so preoccupied with what their horse can do for them that how their horse feels about any of it is at best, an afterthought and often, not a consideration at all. Investing in connected partnerships simply isn’t a priority.


To me, the purpose of practicing mindful horsemanship is to facilitate connected partnerships through trust, respect, safety and joy. When both parties feel good, coming together for the Centaur’s Dance is effortless and exquisite

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